We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
