im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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