Duck Duck Cougar?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
