He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
