he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
