Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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