Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
