Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
