so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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