ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
