I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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