You can't special order awesome
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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