It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
