Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
