quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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