What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
