Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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