If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
