is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
