I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
