first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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