question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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