Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh god the rape fog is back!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
