You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
