I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
