Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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