It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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