adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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