I want to make a zoo with you.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize