Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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