Yo dont text me then not text me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
