It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
