Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think i have two assholes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
