# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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