So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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