My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
