those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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