I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
