Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
