Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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