My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
