2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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