you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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