I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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