I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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