careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
