it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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