HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
this hospital has no fireball
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