someone owes me an orgasm
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
