Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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