it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
