Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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