I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
