Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
