he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
