i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
