I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
