Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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