I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
