awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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