I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
